Part of the reason to cheer for the meteors in Armageddon is that they have more personality than many of the human characters. They are cuddly, lovable rocks that tumble gracefully through space, drawn to Earth like moths to flame. Or maybe it's the other way around. Then there's the big Texas-sized rock that threatens to turn our planet into a giant ashtray. That's the biggest hero of all.

Naturally, the earthlings--especially the American earthlings who, as we all know, are the smartest, toughest and coolest earthlings--fight back. After a series of plans to destroy the big rock is rejected, one proposed by "pretty much the smartest guy in the world" is given the green light. His plan is to land some astronauts on the rock, drill a big hole, drop some nukes inside and fly away. But no mere NASA geniuses can complete this feat--this job requires the expertise of Bruce Willis and his ragtag fleet of oil drilling roughnecks. (This was gonna be my submission to the Alibi's "High Concept Film Contest," but then they made a real movie out of it.)

After a cursory introduction to each of Willis' crew, during which we learn nothing except that Steve Buscemi is horny, the cool guy from Bottle Rocket (Owen Wilson) is funny and that Ben Affleck is screwing Liv Tyler, the non-astronauts are jettisoned into space to save mankind. After that, we are subjected to two hours of shouting and stuff blowing up, some of which is incomprehensible but all of which looks pretty neat.

Like producer Jerry Bruckheimer's last two summer outings, The Rock and Con Air, action and special effects receive more attention than character and plot in Armageddon. The action in Armageddon, in fact, is so over-the-top that it becomes tedious after a while. Most people don't give a rat's ass about this, as evidenced by the millions of dollars these movies make. But as we near the millennium and technology continues to revolutionize the way movies are made, flawless special effects are--and should be--taken for granted in big-budget Hollywood movies.