I guess it's our own fault. We (and when I say "we,"
I mean spongeheads other than myself) pay them exorbitant amounts
of money, worship them like demi-gods and erect public shrines
in their honor. I'm talking, of course, about the American sports
hero. And with our hoarse-voiced, fist-pumping idolization of
them, is it any wonder that they think so highly of themselves?
Is it any wonder Shaquille O'Neil thinks he's a movie star? Is
it any wonder Dennis Rodman thinks he can wrestle? Is it any wonder
Michael Jordan thinks he's Our Lord and Savior? Of course not.
It's no wonder, then, that Earvin "Magic" Johnson thinks
he's a TV talk-show host.
Johnson's much-hyped "The Magic Hour" appeared in syndication
four weeks ago to bad reviews and mediocre ratings. After its
so-so premiere week, the show plunged 17 percent to settle in
on a basement-scraping 1.5 national Nielsen household rating.
One ratings point equals 1
million households. On July 2, Johnson scored his first three-pointer
by booking shock jock Howard Stern, one of the former b-baller's
most outspoken critics. Since "The Magic Hour" premiered,
Stern's radio show has ragged almost daily on Johnson's stiff
personality and weak interviewing skills (one of "Magic Hour's"
more embarrassing segments actually allows audience members to
take over the interviewing task). The Thursday night show featuring
an expectedly crude Stern drew "The Magic Hour" its
highest ratings. Thursday's 4.2 rating represented a 110 percent
jump from the show's average weekly performance. Producers were
hoping that Stern would become Johnson's "Hugh Grant."
A 1995 post-prostitution arrest Hugh Grant became Jay Leno's first
ratings win against former late-night king David Letterman. That
interview turned the tide, and Leno frequently out-aces Letterman
in the ratings game these days.
Unfortunately, ratings for "The Magic Show" have not
performed up to the Stern level. As a result, producers have dropped
the show's stand-up comedy intro (not a role Johnson was born
to play) and fired Johnson's wisecracking sidekick, comedian Craig
Shoemaker (who never seemed to do much anyway). I don't think
that's gonna help.
Let's face it, not everybody was born to host a talk show. A great
point guard does not a competent interviewer make. Despite what
Studio City seems to think, "TV talk show host" is not
the world's easiest job. Just ask Danny Bonaduce, Tempest Bledsoe,
Carnie Wilson and a host of other talk show wannabes. Granted,
Johnson may one day grow into his new role, but don't expect the
ratings-obsessed TV industry to give him time. The late-night
talk-show battlefield is littered with the corpses of hosts who
couldn't cut the mustard in the first eight weeks--just ask Keenan
Ivory Wayans (or Sinbad or Chevy Chase or Alan Thicke, or ...
). Despite all those who have fallen by the wayside, people still
flock to the airwaves to declare themselves the next Oprah or
the Johnny Carson for the '90s. Not all of them should be allowed
to have a show. Just ask Howie Mandel.
--Devin D. O'Leary
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