For anyone who remembers seeing Halloween in theaters way back in
1978, watching Halloween: H20 is like bumping into a former
high-school classmate who now has a kid in college. The Scream
movies made me feel old and curmudgeonly: I wasn't a hack 'n' slash nut the
first time around, and the addition of jokey self-consciousness wasn't an
improvement. But there was a certain fascination in the treatment of
early-'80s slasher movies as a pop-culture canon as if in the 15 years
since I left high school, the likes of When a Stranger Calls and
Hell Night had become quaint, musty tomes ripe for
deconstruction.
There's nothing musty about John Carpenter's Carter-era spook show,
which capped a vintage year for horror movies (Romero's Dawn of the
Dead and De Palma's The Fury among them). It pretty much
established the vernacular of the modern horror film POV stalking shots,
the fake-scare-real-scare double whammy, the multiple ending and despite
countless imitations and rip-offs, it still pulverizes an audience.
Nevertheless, it was made 20 years ago, and the movie has sequels
that are older than its target demographic. H20 doesn't play like
the continuation of a franchise; in spirit, suspense, and execution, it's
more like attending a 20-year reunion.
When last we saw victimized baby-sitter Laurie Strode and I'm not sure
which sequel this was, since the series has gone through enough guest
victims for a banquet of Soylent Green she was cowering in the flaming
corridors of a hospital. Meanwhile, the bogeyman, her heretofore
indestructible brother Michael Myers, presumably broasted down the hall.
The subsequent sequels continued without her, and now we know why: Laurie
faked her own death to escape Michael's clutches. She married and divorced,
changed her name, and took a job as headmistress of a boarding school in
California. She now has a teenage son (Josh Hartnett), a drinking problem,
and an understandable paranoia which turns out to be justified when Michael
turns up one deserted weekend on the school grounds.
The director, Steve Miner, whose credentials include a couple of
Friday the 13th sequels, doesn't have freshness on his side. The
original Halloween came out after a spate of post-Watergate
demonic-possession flicks, and its externalized menace and campfire-simple
escaped-maniac plot came as a crisp shock. That shock wore off long before
Halloween II. Furthermore, Carpenter booby-trapped every side,
corner, and background of his wide Panavision screen with nasty surprises a
technique that's standard operating procedure now.
Miner never delivers any of the body-blow jolts that made the original a
sensation, perhaps because he doesn't spend as much time as Carpenter did
establishing the characters and the nature of the small town in peril. The
bulk of the action consists once again of people being chased through dark
corridors, which isn't as innately compelling as the filmmakers seem to
think. To Miner's credit, though, he relies more on atmosphere than
splatter: The body count is admirably low, which is good the stalk 'n'
slice scenes are the dullest in the movie. He even manages one deliciously
creepy moment: Laurie shuts a heavy door only to find herself staring right
into Michael's face on the other side.
Miner is helped a lot by Jamie Lee Curtis, who's a good enough actress
to suggest the kind of toll 20 years of constant fear would exact on your
nerves. In the late '70s, Laurie was a remarkably strong heroine (a
Carpenter trademark): clearheaded and brave in times of crisis, tough
enough to fight a muscle-bound killer to a draw using her wits. (A
personification of sexual threat, he reaches for her with a steely, phallic
knife; she lashes back with a coat hanger.) I can't believe after 20 years
she'd drop a knife at a crucial moment good God, didn't she see Fatal
Attraction? but Curtis nonetheless makes Laurie an engaging underdog,
both as a potential victim and as a single working mom.
Calling H20 the best of the Halloween sequels is like
calling Treet the best of the potted meats: The ingredients remain awfully
dubious, and the end result tastes questionable. The movie has no point of
view, no subtext: It doesn't even have the kicky satirical bent that gives
a middling genre flick like Disturbing Behavior its mild
distinction. Its 85 minutes click by with little offense and less
inspiration. The time passes painlessly enough, though, especially with an
audience of teens roaring their approval. Just forgive us geezers in the
aisle seats for feeling not so much fear as a blush of nostalgia especially
when a few frames of Carpenter's classic turn up in a dream sequence. Those
moments only underscore how watered down H20 really is.